Who is your Mother Mary?

Who is your Mother Mary?  Who will whisper words of wisdom in your hour of darkness?

Sometimes I want to believe...but, eventually, reality sets in and religion just turns into a sick and cruel joke.  When the world is a little darker and just not quite right… a Beatles song makes it better. 

A smoking email from God

God emailed this image to me last night and told me to tell everyone that he would like us to have a conversation with some of his "followers". Please hand a print out of this to them to start off the conversation. 

Does anyone want a used burnt laptop?  I wish God would just use the email system just like everyone else.

 

Have you ever been chewed on by a badger?

Whoa! 
I was almost eaten by a badger two days ago!  It jump me in the parking lot and wouldn't let go. 
I had to drive home while the vicious animal was chewing on my little toe. 

It finally let go when a brave squirrel came sprinting and jumping. 
The fight between the squirrel and badger was frightening!
The battle ended when an old lady walked too close and both jumped at her purse and started gnawing.

Everyone knows old ladies keep fud in their purses.
I ran home quickly while in the distant hearing the old lady's curses.
What became of the badger and the squirrel I can assume they are looking for dresses.

More on dresses later...

Good times heading my way.

Every day for two years I have been cursed by a squeaky right shoe...yes I keep my shoes around for a very long time.  The damn thing squeaked every time I took a step.  No matter what I put on it or how I walked, that shoe would squeak like a throbbing migraine.  

The squeak was so loud that everyone in my class giggled when I walked in late.   I avoided the hallways because the squeaky sound would reverberate throughout every crevices and empty rooms.  If I’m lucky, the class rooms would be empty but more than likely the class rooms would be filled with students…looking up to see the dork with the squeaky shoe.  

I was convinced that my right shoe was possessed by a malevolent spirit.   It was evil and it took pleasure in the daily pain and misery it caused me.  This spiteful spirit must have been a very bad person in its past life.

Today (a day like any other day) my right shoe stopped squeaking.  There was no indication that it had grown tired of my agony and was ready to move on to haunt another poor soul.  It just stopped squeaking.

Good times must be heading my way.  :-)

The Woman in the Parking Lot

She has tired and weathered hair.  A line of bags and suitcases follow her around the parking lot like a train making it's way around the bend.

Her stride tells me she has a purpose but her expression shows me she has lost her purpose.

She walks and weaves across the parking lot dodging cars without a sound…invisible to the crowd of people that surrounds her; the people with purpose.  It starts to rain and people rush to avoid the cold drizzle.

She stands alone in the parking lot.  Her purpose gone.  Her expression blank.  Still invisible to the people that walk around her.

She stands in the parking lot as if waiting for a train to board to take her away.  Maybe she is waiting for a friend; a friend that will never come.

Is this a test from God?  An entry test for the people that surround her.  Maybe her stride did have a purpose.  Maybe she's a willing participant in God’s test.

As the rain begins to fall harder, her clothes droop down under the weight of the rain water.  She looks up slowly and let the rain fall on her face.  Her expression contorts as if looking for a response.  Maybe it is her that is testing God?

From my view in Starbucks I see her continue her stride.  Should I help her?  Should I see if she is alright?  Memory still fresh from the last time I tried to help a homeless person. I’m afraid to take action.

She walks faster now.  Her stride longer.  Her expression focused.  She walks along the rows of cars and stops.  Without hesitation, she throws her bags into the back of a bright yellow VW bug and quickly drives off.

So what can we learn from the woman in the parking lot?  I think its important to not always think too much of a situations.  

Sometimes its not about divine intervention or a test for the existence of God. Sometimes it not even so simple of a concept as the hardship and loneliness of a homeless woman. 

Sometimes, it's just about a woman's internal struggle to remember where she parked her car...

This post doesn’t have a purpose or a message.  Just another rant from the mind of Sick Cow Pie that's pumped up with 2 cups of caffeine and sugared up with donuts.

Never Talk to a One Legged Dog about Politics

So I was walking to my grocery store yesterday to get a box of my favorite donuts.  When a one legged dog with a big smile came up to me and started talking.

He told me the market is crashing because the investors lack future confidence in the US and international markets . So I told him.. yeah well tell me something I don't know.

He told me he had all his legs amputated last week and he's very happy to see me...